1. It’s not me, it’s my bed
I lay there, making no sound, pretending nothing is happening but my bed, it loves me like an obsessive lover. It can’t get enough of me. No, it’s not the other way around.
I was always scared this would happen some day.
Trust is an important thing to lose.
2. My alarm clock broke!
… And nobody can ask how.
[Don’t try to make eye contact, play it cool]
I think it was working pretty okay last morning. I wonder what happened. It just wouldn’t buzz anymore. Getting up without an alarm is tough. The phone alarm is pretty much non-existent.